courage

define courage... difficult and unique to each person every day.
this is courage for me today in Bangkok

last night I didn't sleep, I went out at five found some spicy fish curry, then wandered about watching this city awake. About 8 I fell into bed and woke an hour later with alam clock in hand. In those strange stolen minutes between sleep and a world outside, I dreamed of my Nana, she was an old ginger cat, fur not silky... there was an old german shepard, I had the feeling was an old man (perhaps my grandfather).

Job Hunting

I'm going through the process of finding any employment, other than English Teaching. Its hard work, not only due to the numerious distractions; drinking late into the night, carnival rides, lounging about in the sun/infront of tv/watching the rain, market wandering, boat cruises etc... but also due to unforseen factors such as blatent sexism or harassment.

A couple of days ago I had a very enjoyable invterview with the foreign managers of a large business here in Phnom Penh, however yesturday I recieved a phone call from the Khmer manager of this business....the conversation went like this...
..please again, how old are you? - As is stated on my CV, I am 30 years of age
...oh very young - and not so young
...and you are single? - yes I am not married
...ahh but you will be wanting children soon! - no, not at all
...then you will want to get married quickly! - no, I will not be getting married in the forseeable future
....ahhh....but you are 30 and you don't have children yet? - that is correct
...so you will want to leave to get married and have children soon. - ha ha, no no, as discussed during the interview (etc)
...hmmm I think you need children soon, maybe we will not call you - (speechless)

And that is why I did not get that particular position.
Another unsuccessful application was to an international company of much respect, the decision was down to myself and one other, and in true Cambodian style of business the unsuccessful candidate (myself) was simply never contacted again...this was after no less than 5 interviews, a lunch and numerious daily quick phone calls.

Good greif! I'm begining to think teaching english is the better option...still I have enough energy and self respect to find this all very interesting....